colors and precious moments

When I was living in the US I was impressed by the way most Americans seem to be able to talk about their strengths and talents without seeming arrogant or obnoxious. In Europe, I think, and in particular in the northern part, this isn't acceptable. The highest virtue is modesty, to the extend that you should never claim or believe that you are really good at anything.

So, breaking the rules of my upbringing, I want to tell you that I am really good with colors:) Like some people are with numbers. (Actually since I've started, I am not so bad with numbers either). I have always been interested in and fascinated by colors, and when I was a kid words and names had colors in my head. When I took a painting class a few years ago, the teacher constantly commented on my talent with colors. (And I scored perfectly on this test;)).

So, as someone who loves colors, I am really enjoying filling out the weekly planner in various ones. (The template for my weekly planner comes from the Positivity Project) ...Now I see my time in colors! In my schedule I have different colors for work time and family time, yellow represents appointments, and now bright aqua blue (perhaps I am not so good with the names of the colors...?) represents my precious, precious moments. In these hours I have planned things that will undoubtedly give me some really happy and meaningful moments in my week. Who says you can't plan and schedule your happiness...?

First: I just got home from a weekend getaway with a very good friend of mine. Whole 3 days of walking around the beautiful streets of Amsterdam with nowhere to go and nothing to do. Just chat,wine,chesse,coffee,food,museum,little bit of shopping...it was absolutely perfect.

Secondly: I finally scheduled massage/spa treatment using a gift card that I received more than a year ago. I think it is crazy that it has taken me more than a year to squeeze this into my schedule. But finally I did. And I am really really looking forward to it.

Lastly: I have scheduled "a cozy night" with my children. En hyggeaften as we say here in Denmark. The plan is to make pizza together and then watch Winnie the Pooh. Not very original or extravagant. But the key here is just to be present, and to enjoy the company of my wonderful children.

So much happiness in one week:):):) Life is good.

February: Impeccable Love

This month I am focusing on love and kindness.

Marriage: With two young children (I use them as an excuse for everything;)) it is easy to forget to nurture and take care of the relationship with your spouse. The goal for this month is more hugs, more kisses, more talking. Perhaps even a date.

Everyone: Love and accept everyone as they are. Put more love into all relationships, all interactions with other people, love unconditionally. Do random acts of kindness.

Myself: Love and accept myself as I am. As Ashley puts it: "Loving yourself is the key to loving others." This is something I've been working on for a while, and I know that I still need to put effort in here. I think that this list of "How to Love Yourself in 17 Ways" is a great inspiration.

November: back to basics

November is the sixth month of my impeccable project. I feel like now is the time to sit down, take a breath and evaluate the progress I've made so far. I want to use this month to reestablish and reinforce some of my earlier resolutions. Moreover, I want to take time to finish some unfinished projects...making space for new, more exciting ones:)

For the last couple of months I also feel like my resolution charts have grown out of control, and I have been slacking on some of my more important habits, such as my meditation practice, my gratitude journal and I've also found it difficult to find the time to sit down and write posts for this blog. However, these resolutions are the foundation to my project. The feeling of balance and happiness that comes with meditating and focusing on gratitude is truly amazing. And this blog has been so valuable to me. Writing the posts helps to keep me on track, but more importantly it has given me the opportunity to interact with and get inspiration from other bloggers on a similar journey. So...

Resolutions that I want to reiterate this month:

• meditate
• write in my gratitude jorunal
• blog at least 2x a week
• be present
• bring lunch to work (healthier and saves money)
• be proactive: focus on voice, posture, and excuses

Tasks that I want to finish in November:

• empty my email inboxes (there are currently 3756 emails that need to be processed)
• finish the blanket I'm knitting
• Christmas presents (part of my impeccable time/stop doing things last minute resolution;))

Looking back:

• June *Mind and Positivity*: In June I started meditating, writing in my gratitude journal, exercising on regular basis, and I also started this blog. I focused on happiness, and read several books on the topic. This month really was a success, and a great way to start the project. I think of this as the basis for everything, and want to continue focusing as much as I can on positivity and happiness. In the last couple of months I have been slacking in this area, and it is very important to me to get back on track...
• July *Home*: In July I focused on my home, both the apartment we live in, but also on getting to know Copenhagen a little bit better. I bought flowers, lit candles, made the bed every day, decluttered...and walked a lot arount the city. Many of the habits from this month have really stuck. I wish I was better at keeping the clutter away...but there is definitely an improvement. After some delays, I painted my children's room, and gave away four or five boxes of toys. That room looks so much better now, and the children are actually much better at playing in their room now when they have fewer toys:)
• August *Family*: This month was really important to me, as I worked on my relationship with my children. To lighten up, be more patient, be better at talking and listening. This was super successful, and our communications have really transformed. This alone has made the project worthwhile:)
• September *Work*: I wanted to use September to decrease stress, and to become more organized at work. This was not a very successful month. But hopefully some of the work I did that month will prove to be useful for progressing in the future.
• October *Time and Money*: Unfortunately I did not address my money issues at all that month. I did continue working on my relationship with time, and made some improvements. But apparently this is not an easy task for me...so this will continue to be on my agenda. In October, I also started reading the 7 habits of highly effective people. The first habit is to be more proactive, and I have been working on that with some success. That alone makes me feel like I achieved something of imporatance in October:)

Looking forward:

I've rearranged the rest of my project a bit and now the calander looks like this:
• December: Impeccable Fun and Friendship - be there, reach out, lighten up and have fun
• January: Impeccable Health and Beauty - find ways to treat myself and my body better and with more respect
• February: Impeccable Love and Marriage - be kind, have fun, love infinitely and unconditionally
• March: Impeccable Passion and Meaning - Find my passion, work on independence, and "being me", make time time for what is important
• April: Environment and Nature - find ways to enjoy nature and be kinder to the environment
• May: Bootcamp Impeccable

luv, Di.

August: wrap-up

August was family month. I took a two-week-vacation and completely abondened my routine during that time. Consequently I did not do super-well on my resolutions. On the other hand, the main goal of the month was to have more quality time with my family, enjoy being with my kids, be more patient and have more fun. And in that sense, I think this month was a succesful one.

The Resolutions
I was really happy to discover that it almost took no effort for me to watch my voice and avoid losing my temper at home. This would not have been the case a few months ago!

I did spend a lot of quality time with my children, I sat down and played with them, and took some time to sing and dance and be silly with them.

I did take many many photos.

I did not manage to establish a morning routine, I forgot the vitamins almost every day, and I did not teach them much.

The Tasks
I read the Power of Now, and I am half-way through the parenting handbook: How to Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk. Both books are awesome. It is almost ridiculous how many self-help books I've read in the last couple of months. It is actually quite addictive:) But I definitely feel like I have learned a lot!

I made phone-calls to my family.

I thought about my pleasures of childhood: Playing outside! When you are a kid, there is no such thing as bad wheather. Windy, snowy, rainy, sunny....it's all equally wonderful. And being outside in nature. And then having some hot chocolate and toast after a long day outside. Playing cards with my grandmother. Making shows (singing and dancing) with my sister. Drawing, Painting, Reading. Going to the library.

I made some kind of a family mission statement: I want my home to ba sacred place, and a happy place, for all four of us. We are one, we respect one another, and we care about each other's happiness and well-being. I want to teach my children to have respect for themselves, and respect for others. I want to help them to become independent and confident individuals. I want them to be happy and at peace.

Other tasks did not get done this time. Perhaps later:)

The theme of September is Impeccable Work. I'll post about my goals for this month in the next couple of days.

Di.

On Children

Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you, yet they belong not to you.

You may give them your love but not your thoughts.
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow,
which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.

You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite,
and He bends you with His might that His arrows may go swift and far.
Let your bending in the archer's hand be for gladness;
For even as He loves the arrow that flies,
so He loves also the bow that is stable.

-by Kahlil Gibran

August: Impeccable Family

Be present, treasure the moment, let out your inner child

"If you want your children to be intelligent, read them fairy tales. If you want them to be more intelligent, read them more fairy tales."
-Albert Einstein

In August I want to focus on family and parenting. I am so happy that my project has already helped a lot when it comes to doing a better job as a mom. I can see how, as I have become a happier person myself, my kids have become happier and more balanced. There are less tantrums (on both sides) and much more joy. This was one of the fundamental reasons that I wanted to do a happiness project. Hence I am truly grateful to see these positive effects, after just 2 months.

Of course there is still plenty of room for improvement. I want to have more fun with my kids, be more present for them, treasure the time that I have with them, make sure that I treat them with the same respect as I treat adults, and help them to grow up to be happy, strong, confident and independent individuals.

I am also going to use this month to reach out to my parents, siblings, and in-laws. For example by calling them and sending them pictures and news of the kids.

My August Resolutions

• play and be silly
• watch my tone
• no snapping
• talk with my children
• teach them something new
• sing and dance
• establish a family morning routine
• teach my daughter to tidy up her room before she goes to sleep
• take more photos

My August Tasks

• This month's reading list: "How to Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk (How to Help Your Child)", "The Power of Now: A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment", plus a couple of H.C. Andersen's Fairy Tales.
• Think about my pleasures of childhood
• Call my mom, dad, siblings, and in-laws
• Send photos and a "newsletter" to closest family
• Make a list of old and new family traditions
• Paint the kids' room
• Frame and hang up kids' art and family photos
• Create a "family mission statement"
• Read about home-schooling and un-schooling
• Organize the memorabilia: write in my children's diaries, put photos in "my son's first photo album", find better ways to organize and store their and my own memorabilia.

Happy month of August!

my little guide to keeping a gratitude journal

Listing 3-5 things in my gratitude journal, every night before I go to bed, has really opened my eyes to everything that I can be thankful for. I can absolutely say that I already feel more grateful (and hence happier) during my everyday life than I did before. However, writing in a gratitude journal every day can easily become stale and feel forced after a short while. Here is how I have kept it a pleasant habit, which I intend to keep for at least few more weeks:

• keep it pretty: if you are a visual person, it helps to have a nice pretty-looking notebook dedicated to your gratitude.
• keep it simple: I try not to write too much. Usually I just list 3 words. Otherwise I think this habit might become more arduous and difficult to maintain.
• keep it fresh: in order to benefit from writing in your journal it is necessary to keep it fresh. i.e. not just thoughtlessly write: mom, dad, house, dog...night after night. Take a couple of minutes to think about the things you listed and relive the joy and happiness you associate with the words you wrote down.
• keep it constant: it is my happy habit. I keep my journal and a pen next to bed and writing in the journal is the last thing I do before I turn off the lights. It reminds of my happiness project, of my progress, and of my goals.
• alternatively: if keeping a journal still feels tedious, find alternative ways to think about gratitude. Find a person in your life, that you can talk to on regular basis about what you are grateful for. I've started to do this with my four year old daughter every now and then. Just before she goes to sleep we talk about our day, and what we are grateful for. So at the same time as I remind myself to be grateful, I am forwarding this great habit to my daughter. Two birds, one stone (is there a nicer idiom in the English language with the same meaning?)

happy journal writing!