November: back to basics

November is the sixth month of my impeccable project. I feel like now is the time to sit down, take a breath and evaluate the progress I've made so far. I want to use this month to reestablish and reinforce some of my earlier resolutions. Moreover, I want to take time to finish some unfinished projects...making space for new, more exciting ones:)

For the last couple of months I also feel like my resolution charts have grown out of control, and I have been slacking on some of my more important habits, such as my meditation practice, my gratitude journal and I've also found it difficult to find the time to sit down and write posts for this blog. However, these resolutions are the foundation to my project. The feeling of balance and happiness that comes with meditating and focusing on gratitude is truly amazing. And this blog has been so valuable to me. Writing the posts helps to keep me on track, but more importantly it has given me the opportunity to interact with and get inspiration from other bloggers on a similar journey. So...

Resolutions that I want to reiterate this month:

• meditate
• write in my gratitude jorunal
• blog at least 2x a week
• be present
• bring lunch to work (healthier and saves money)
• be proactive: focus on voice, posture, and excuses

Tasks that I want to finish in November:

• empty my email inboxes (there are currently 3756 emails that need to be processed)
• finish the blanket I'm knitting
• Christmas presents (part of my impeccable time/stop doing things last minute resolution;))

Looking back:

• June *Mind and Positivity*: In June I started meditating, writing in my gratitude journal, exercising on regular basis, and I also started this blog. I focused on happiness, and read several books on the topic. This month really was a success, and a great way to start the project. I think of this as the basis for everything, and want to continue focusing as much as I can on positivity and happiness. In the last couple of months I have been slacking in this area, and it is very important to me to get back on track...
• July *Home*: In July I focused on my home, both the apartment we live in, but also on getting to know Copenhagen a little bit better. I bought flowers, lit candles, made the bed every day, decluttered...and walked a lot arount the city. Many of the habits from this month have really stuck. I wish I was better at keeping the clutter away...but there is definitely an improvement. After some delays, I painted my children's room, and gave away four or five boxes of toys. That room looks so much better now, and the children are actually much better at playing in their room now when they have fewer toys:)
• August *Family*: This month was really important to me, as I worked on my relationship with my children. To lighten up, be more patient, be better at talking and listening. This was super successful, and our communications have really transformed. This alone has made the project worthwhile:)
• September *Work*: I wanted to use September to decrease stress, and to become more organized at work. This was not a very successful month. But hopefully some of the work I did that month will prove to be useful for progressing in the future.
• October *Time and Money*: Unfortunately I did not address my money issues at all that month. I did continue working on my relationship with time, and made some improvements. But apparently this is not an easy task for me...so this will continue to be on my agenda. In October, I also started reading the 7 habits of highly effective people. The first habit is to be more proactive, and I have been working on that with some success. That alone makes me feel like I achieved something of imporatance in October:)

Looking forward:

I've rearranged the rest of my project a bit and now the calander looks like this:
• December: Impeccable Fun and Friendship - be there, reach out, lighten up and have fun
• January: Impeccable Health and Beauty - find ways to treat myself and my body better and with more respect
• February: Impeccable Love and Marriage - be kind, have fun, love infinitely and unconditionally
• March: Impeccable Passion and Meaning - Find my passion, work on independence, and "being me", make time time for what is important
• April: Environment and Nature - find ways to enjoy nature and be kinder to the environment
• May: Bootcamp Impeccable

luv, Di.

August: wrap-up

August was family month. I took a two-week-vacation and completely abondened my routine during that time. Consequently I did not do super-well on my resolutions. On the other hand, the main goal of the month was to have more quality time with my family, enjoy being with my kids, be more patient and have more fun. And in that sense, I think this month was a succesful one.

The Resolutions
I was really happy to discover that it almost took no effort for me to watch my voice and avoid losing my temper at home. This would not have been the case a few months ago!

I did spend a lot of quality time with my children, I sat down and played with them, and took some time to sing and dance and be silly with them.

I did take many many photos.

I did not manage to establish a morning routine, I forgot the vitamins almost every day, and I did not teach them much.

The Tasks
I read the Power of Now, and I am half-way through the parenting handbook: How to Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk. Both books are awesome. It is almost ridiculous how many self-help books I've read in the last couple of months. It is actually quite addictive:) But I definitely feel like I have learned a lot!

I made phone-calls to my family.

I thought about my pleasures of childhood: Playing outside! When you are a kid, there is no such thing as bad wheather. Windy, snowy, rainy, sunny....it's all equally wonderful. And being outside in nature. And then having some hot chocolate and toast after a long day outside. Playing cards with my grandmother. Making shows (singing and dancing) with my sister. Drawing, Painting, Reading. Going to the library.

I made some kind of a family mission statement: I want my home to ba sacred place, and a happy place, for all four of us. We are one, we respect one another, and we care about each other's happiness and well-being. I want to teach my children to have respect for themselves, and respect for others. I want to help them to become independent and confident individuals. I want them to be happy and at peace.

Other tasks did not get done this time. Perhaps later:)

The theme of September is Impeccable Work. I'll post about my goals for this month in the next couple of days.

Di.

July: wrap-up

Time flies, it is already end of July! July (Impeccable Home) was in some sense two different projects. The first one was to make our apartment less cluttered, more peaceful and more beautiful. The second one was to try to feel more at home here in Copenhagen.

Overall I am happy with my progress this month. I didn't manage to finish everything. And I did have a few bad days last week, where I wasn't doing too well with my resolutions. In particular I let clutter accumulate everywhere around me; at home, in my office, even my bag and wallet were suddenly overloaded with unwanted stuff. It was definitely a reflection of an inner turmoil that I was going through, but I think I am back on track now.

The apartment
I made the bed everyday, I lit candles, played music, and bought flowers on Fridays. These are little, and perhaps silly things, but I found those to make a notable difference to the feel of my home. I tried to make a habit of putting stuff back in place after use, I wasn't too successful with that one, but I will definitely continue trying. I did some decluttering, and while I wish I had done more, I am at happy that I've managed to maintain my clutter-free areas. It feels like I have more breathing space at home now. One of my resolutions was to make weekly menu plans, and do weekly grocery shopping. This has been such a time- and stress- saver. I can't understand why I wasn't doing this before!

I finished this months' reading list: "Apartment Therapy: The Eight Step Home Cure," "Joy of Less, A Minimalist Living Guide" and "Feng Shui That Makes Sense: Easy Ways to Create a Home That FEELS as Good as It Looks." I found all of these books to be useful and each of them contributed to my project in a different way.

My big goal for this month was to paint and redecorate my kids' room. I am not done, but I did take some "big" steps. I already bought the paint, and will use one of the weekends in August to finish up.

A smaller goal was to finish a blanket I started knitting two years ago. Having half-finished projects lying around for too long is not good for your energy. The blanket is not done. But I've been knitting every night now, and actually quite enjoy it. I put knitting on my resolution chart to remind me to keep going until the blanket is done:)

Denmark
I had fun with this one. I went for a few walks around the city, ate delicious ice-cream in Tivoli, visited the little mermaid, read some Danish fairy-tales, got to know a bit about the Danish royal family as well as the basics of Danish politics. I fixed my bike, so now I can start biking around again, and I signed up for a Danish course that will start in the fall.

Older stuff
I continued with most of my older resolutions. I am definitely more positive than I was 2 months ago, I smile more, I am more patient, more balanced. I've been much more aware of my often negative, and limiting self-talk and have been working on substituting this with a more positive one. I still meditate almost every day, and plan to add another 5 minutes to my meditation sessions (making it 20 minutes). I finally got exercising in my routine (running three mornings a week), although this one is still an effort for me.

August: Impeccable Family
The focus in August will be on my kids, how to make them happy and healthy. And how to be a better parent. I will post more about my tasks and resolutions later this week.

Cheers, Di.

clutter

"By purging the excess from our homes, our schedules, and our minds, we empty our cups-giving us infinite capacity for life, love, hopes, dreams, and copious amounts of joy"
-Francine Jay

"What is clutter? Clutter is anything that you don't want, love, need, or use."
"Clutter is postponed decision-making"
-Cathleen McCandless

I've been making an effort to declutter my home the last couple of weeks. I find it challenging, but at the same time it is very rewarding to see the progress. When I came across the quote above; about clutter being postponed decision making, I realized that the clutter in my life has a lot to do with my reluctance to make decisions, so I feel like I am working on my "decision making muscle" at the same time as I am improving my surroundings.

Some people (like myself) easily get used to some level of clutter in their homes. However, while perhaps unnoticed, the clutter can still affect your energy, making you feel tired, lazy and lethargic. Our external world is a manifestation of our inner world. A cluttered home can both be a cause and a symptom of a cluttered mind. Decluttering is about creating breathing space, creating room for our ideas, thoughts and creativity - and the incremental improvements that I have been working on this month already make me feel better at home; happier and more relaxed.

The process that has been working best for me is based on something like this:

1. Controling the inflow & putting things back in place

This month I have been focusing on establishing the invaluable habit of putting things immediately back in place after use. Unfortunately this doesn't come very naturally to me, but without this habit my decluttering effort would be like trying to fill a leaking bucket. There is also a constant inflow of new clutter that need to be monitored; mail, gifts, artwork from the children, etc. New clutter can easily pile up faster than you get rid of your old stuff. Hence, the first step is essentially to control the inflow, to be a good gatekeeper to your home. I try to examine whatever comes in and immediately deal with it (find a place, throw it away, put it in the "outbox"). In his book Maxwell Gillingham-Ryan talks about the importance of having a good healthy filter at your front door: have a doormat to keep the dirt out, a coat hook or hanger to put your coat, bag, boots, etc., and a place where you can lay down your things (keys, wallet, etc.) and sort through your mail along with other things you bring with you into the apartment. Optimally I think that the entry should also have a chair or something you can sit on, while you take of your shoes and sort through your stuff.

2. Setting up some kind of a system

I could easily spend a lot of time and energy (and have definitely done so in the past) just moving the clutter around. It is important to decide what you are going to do with the stuff that you do not want in your home. Some of the clutter can easily and immediately be thrown out, but there is likely to be plenty of stuff that you want to sell and/or give away. Designate a box, a shelf, a closet, or a corner as your outbox, where all this stuff goes. Also put your "maybe stuff" in the outbox. Set a deadline for yourself to empty the outbox. As decluttering is a constant process, it may be a good idea to set dates e.g. every 3 months to empty your outbox.

3. Decluttering

My strategy has been to do a little bit each day, so I wont get overwhelmed. Each day I try to work on one drawer, one shelf, or one surface. When it comes to clutter, what you can't see...is still there, sucking away your energy. That being said, it is nice to start with the surfaces. They are usually relatively easy to declutter, and at the same time it makes a huge difference in the way your home looks and feels. Surfaces should not be used for storage, they should be used to display the things you love, things that you find beautiful and/or inspiring.

When decluttering, I find it best to empty the surface (shelf, drawer, etc.), visualize for a couple of minutes how that space would optimally look like, and then examine each thing thinking: "do I love you, need you, use you, like you? are you more valuable to me than the space that you occupy?" I've also found it useful to look at my stuff and think about what I want to keep, instead of what do I want to get rid off.

I am not super-organized, and I try not to worry too much about it at this point. All your stuff should have its place, in a particular drawer, shelf, etc. But I am not alphabetizing my cd's, my books or dvd's. And in the end, the less stuff you have, the less need you have for being crazily organized. I'm rather aiming for arranging my things, e.g. my closet, to be visually pleasing.

4. Dealing with difficult clutter

There is some clutter that is difficult to deal with. On the top of my list are A. other people's stuff and B. gifts and sentimental clutter. With regards to A, I've kept the Ghandi quote in mind: "Be the change, you wish to see":) I think within reason of course, your spouse (or roommate) has to be allowed to deal with his/her own clutter. At this point my strategy is mostly to ignore it. With regards to B, I find it really difficult to get rid of gifts, even though it is something absolutely not my taste. I've put some of these in the outbox, hoping that when it comes to emptying the outbox I will be completely detached. And I bought a box for my "sentimental clutter" - I can keep whatever fits in that box, if the box is overflowing it is time for purging. At the end of the day I think it is important to remember that I am doing this for my own happiness. It is important to understand the reasons for why we tend to cling to our stuff, but if I feel bad about throwing something out, then it can wait.

5. Reflect on your progress and maintain your clutter-free spaces

This is super important! Take some time every day to look at your progress so far. Enjoy the peace, the beauty, the simplicity that comes with less cluttered surfaces, closets, etc. Make sure you maintain the areas you've decluttered so far.

If you are in the process of decluttering you might want to check out Franicine Jay's blog: miss minimalist and her book The Joy of Less, A Minimalist Living Guide: How to Declutter, Organize, and Simplify Your Life.

If you have any advise that has worked well for you when it comes to simplifying and decluttering, I'd love to hear it.

cheers, D.

taking care of your home: head, heart, breath and bones

This month I am enjoying taking care of my home. Nesting is in our nature, and I think that most of us want to have a place we can call a home, a place that is some sort of an oasis where we can relax, play and completely be ourselves.

Maxwell Gillingham-Ryan's book Apartment Therapy is not your typical book on home decoration and interior design. First of all, the book doesn't have any photographs:) It is not about imposing a certain style on the reader and it is not just about making your home look better, but healthier and more comfortable. The author talks about the four elements of a home: the bones, the breath, the heart and the head. To have a healthy home it is important to take good care of all four parts.



the bones:
This refers to the physical structure of your home: the walls, the floor, the windows, the ceiling and the fixtures in the house/apartment. The bones should be kept clean and in good condition. Taking care of the bones means e.g. regular dusting, fixing a leaking sink and changing a light bulb. The author suggests that on a subtle level the cleanliness of your home can impact your own energy and vitality. He lists four questions to keep in mind when examining the bones of your home:

1. Do you consider your home to be in good shape?
2. Is everything in good working order?
3. Do you take care of repairs quickly?
4. Do you clean your home often?


the breath:
The breath or the flow of your home is about clutter and arrangement. The breath can be blocked by clutter accumulation or by poor placement of furniture. Ailments include shelves and bookcases that are too full, tables and other surfaces that cannot be used because of clutter, or "dead spots" in your home, i.e. parts of your home that are never used. The author poses four questions with regards to breath:

1. Do you consider your home comfortable?
2. Do you sleep well at night?
3. Is your apartment organized?
4. Is it easy to clean and declutter?


the heart:
The heart refers to the style and the emotional life of your home. Heart elements include color, shape, texture, and decorative things. Adding heart to your home can mean pillows on your couch, rug on your floor, photos on your wall or a vase with flowers on your table.

1. Do you consider your home beautiful?
2. Do you feel you have a sense of style?
3. Does your clothing express your style?
4. Does your home express your style?


the head:
The head is the functionality of your home; whether your kitchen utensils are easily accessible, whether you have a good reading light, whether you have a place to put your bag when you come home etc. Interestingly, when I consider the homes around me, it occurs to me that the main activity that most homes support is watching tv. I am not saying that tv is all bad and evil, but perhaps there are other activities that should be supported as well.

1. Does your home support everything you want to do?
2. Do you use your home often?
3. Is there room for everything you want to do at home?
4. Is there a good space for what is most important to you?

While the idea is simple and straightforward, it has been eye-opening for me to look at my apartment with these elements in mind. I think my main focus now is on the heart and it is wonderful to see how my little resolutions are already contributing to this part: lighting candles, playing music, buying flowers. I am also working on the breath, making the bed every morning and trying to declutter. After moving between countries and continents 3 times in the last decade, I have been forced to examine my belongings regularly and haven't accumulated as much stuff as I probably would have otherwise. Nevertheless, the clutter is there, and I really want to get better at keeping my surroundings simple and fairly organized.

If you are interested the webpage apartment therapy has endless resources and ideas on how to improve your home.

July: Impeccable Home

When in Denmark, do as the Danes do

During July I am going to focus on my home. Initially when I outlined my year, I was thinking about our apartment - that I wanted it to be more of a "home". I wanted to make it less cluttered, more peaceful, more beautiful and more cozy.

Then, a couple of weeks ago I started thinking about "home" in more general terms (not planet earth though, that will be tackled later;)). I have been living in Copenhagen for two years now, but I haven't managed to feel at home here yet. So I decided to expand on the topic a bit, and also use this month to get to now the city better, its culture and its people.

Immersing myself in Danish culture for a month fits my project perfectly as Danish people are known for their love of "hygge", which can be roughly translated to "coziness". Danes tend to have beautiful homes decorated with candles, fresh flowers and beautiful furniture. Their homes also tend to be quite simple and uncluttered (despite usually having amazingly little storage space!). Additionally, according to the Gallup World Poll Danish people are the happiest in the world! Learning from the happiest people on earth, must be good for my happiness project:)

My July Resolutions

• Light a candle
• Make the bed
• Flower Fridays: buy flowers every Friday
• Play music: Put on a CD when I come home from work
• Declutter
• Put things back in place when I am done using them
• Read the newspaper
• Make a weekly menu plan
• Weekly grocery shopping
• Walk somewhere new every week

My July Tasks

• Paint, declutter and redecorate the kids' room. For some reason I find this is utterly scary. As soon as I start thinking about this I get anxious, and filled with discouraging thoughts. It's ridiculous right? I've tried tackling my home before and failed. I've made the plans, but as soon as I actually need to take some action, I find some excuse not to. (no time, not enough money, etc., etc.). But really, it is just a room! I can do this!
• Add and subtract in each room: Subtract one thing from each room, and replace it with something that better reflects our taste.
• Read: Apartment Therapy: The Eight Step Home Cure, Joy of Less, A Minimalist Living Guide, and Feng Shui That Makes Sense: Easy Ways to Create a Home That FEELS as Good as It Looks
• Buy something from a flea market. Danes love to sell and buy stuff at flea markets. I love to visit flea markets, but never end up buying anything. Mainly because I am too indecisive. But I'd love to add something old and beautiful to our home.
• Read about the royalties. Danes love and respect their royalties. I should at least know who is whom:)
• Knit a blanket. I have a half-finished blanket in my drawer that I started knitting about 2 years ago. Time to finish!
• Fix my bike. You can't really call yourself a "Københavner" without riding a bike.
• Visit the little mermaid
• Read a couple of H.C. Andersen's fairy tales
• Go to tivoli and have an ice-cream at the "Vaffelbageriet"

I think July is going to be awesome:) cheers, Di.