Monday, June 18, 2012

resisting happiness

I have really started to notice the difference in my level of happiness, which I find amazing after such a short time. Almost every day I'll have a moment where I just feel unbelievably happy and lucky in my life. Meditating has increased my awareness, and I am much more conscious of my train of thoughts, of my feelings and how they change from one moment to the next. One strange thing that I have observed is that I seem to have a tendency to resist being "too" happy. So I've been thinking about why that is?

There are probably many reasons why people on some unconscious level choose not to be happy, or at least not "too" happy. Some feel they do not deserve it. Others need sympathy from others. To me, the state of happiness feels very fragile and I believe the main reason for my resistance is some kind of a protection mechanism. The happier I am, the harder the fall back to "normal". Something like that. But now it is time to stop resisting and just surrender to as happy as I can possibly be and see what happens:)

If you want to be happy, be.
-Leo Tolstoy

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